Your comfort over ministry

What is the difference between a clique and a set of healthy Christian friendships in a church?  Cliques are a bane to the gathered church—whether on Sunday mornings, Wednesdays or whenever the church comes together.  They shatter unity because in their desire to feel safe and understood, they ignore brothers and sisters in Christ who are part of the same body.  In other words, cliques don’t gather for ministry, but because they want a zone of comfort around them that makes them feel like they belong.  There is nothing wrong with feeling like you belong, but when you place that agenda next to the agenda ministering to others in need within the body, the Biblical priority is clear.  A church made up of many cliques is not really a church in one sense—it’s a set of independent groups rather than a gathered body.

 You know you have morphed from a being a set of healthy friendships into a clique when your reason for hanging out is ultimately selfish—more about you and your comfort than about Christ and his mission.  For instance, when you come on Sunday morning, there are in each worship service 200+ other people for you to meet and the gathered church is often the ONE time you can access most of them in some way.   Almost every week we come together on Sunday morning I see this painful sight.  In small section of pew chairs, I see close friends getting together and laughing, sharing a good time together.  These people often see or make contact with these friends during the week (perhaps multiple times) and/or have significant time with them in a small group.  In another section across the church are two new couples sitting a few rows apart.  No one is making any effort to even greet them in Christ or discover what, if any needs they may have.  In other words, no one is making any effort to make them feel like THEY belong.  The Scriptures (both testaments) have much to say about welcoming the alien and the stranger, it’s part of our responsibility as believers.  May I suggest that this particular group of friends has morphed into a selfish clique because they have focused on themselves rather than on being other-centered.  Good friends are a blessing from the Lord and we rightly treasure them.  However, when we gather together as the body of Christ, we should be looking for opportunities to minister to one another—not simply find a comfort zone and stay in it.  There is nothing comfortable about a cross and sometimes we are called to die to what is comfortable and be Jesus to people.  There are of course exceptions.  If someone is going through a personal crisis, then it is certainly appropriate for their friends to gather round them for ministry.  There is nothing selfish about that.  Perhaps a good strategy is for your group of friends to go on a mission together—to meet and greet the new people or people who have obvious needs.  That’s healthy for them and the church.